Holy cow nipples

Well this is awkward. It's been like, a gazillion months :( time to start blogging again, maybe. LOL i said that last time :3

So yeah topic to talk about. How about how fast time f'ing flies. ITS NOVEMBER WTF. I feel like i've been hiding under a rock with Patrick Star. It's like the last thing i remember doing is hanging out with my friend on new years day and now its freaking the 4th of november. What the frack.

It sucks cause you think you have all the time in the world to do the things you want to do. But actually, there isn't enough time. We postpone so many things, tell ourselves we'll do it later or it'll work out later. Later could take so long and you might not even end up doing it. It's scary how fast life is actually going.

Don't think about whether you should do something or not. Just do it. Life's too short to be wondering what not to do. You never know if tomorrow may even come.

Dear Stranger,

I can't help but think that could have been me. I can't help but think what if. What if i had left the house? What if i had actually decided to walk to Ginifer Station instead of St.Albans Station? Would i have seen you? Would i have been there to stop you? Would it have been me instead of you? Do i call myself lucky for staying home and seeing ambulances race to you? Do i feel regret for staying home and watching ambulances race to you?

The feeling i felt as i watched the ambulance through the window; hearing the sirens get louder and louder. The first thought that raced through my head: that could of been me. Was it fate that the rain and hail stopped me from leaving the house? Stopped me from walking past you? I can't help but think of how close i was. Only a couple of feet away from you.

I can't help but think, if only i had left the house, i could have saved you.

R.I.P @};--

http://www.theage.com.au/victoria/person-killed-by-train-on-sydenham-line-20120913-25uqh.html

Weird ROSE fact #12:

I love smelling tea bags. Smelling as in grabbing the tea bag and pressing it against my nose. And love as in, muther freaking LOVE. IT SMELLS SOOO NICE OMG.

And I'm back.

Yeah gunna try and blog as much as i can again. Anyways, have you ever felt so shit that it seemed like nothing could cheer you up? You could be full crying, or just 'nitfm' and it felt as if no one or thing could ever make you stop crying/feeling shit? Many days now have i been feeling like that. And just early this morning, crying like i was a muther freaking cloud, i thought 'what's new on tumblr'. I get on and i see that i had a message. Clicked and it was an Anon asking me a question. Asking for advice. And ofcourse, it's me, i replied. Then they sent me more and for some reason it kind of cheered me up. Don't know why and how but it did. But after 40 minutes that cheer left.

When i woke up it wasn't any different. Still shitty. Still sad. Still whatever the fck is wrong with me. Go school. Survive. Go home. Tumblr. A message. I check and it's from an anon. Saying:

"you're so wise. you're like a female ghandi."

It made me laugh and i now feel somewhat happier than before. Thank you to whoever sent that to me. Really, thank you. It's odd how 10 syllables cheered me up. It reminds me of this school day where i was no where near happy. I gave in work to this temp. teacher to correct. Whenever it says Name: on work i always write ROSE :). The teacher handed the work back and next to my smiley face i saw another smiley face in red ink, from the teacher. It made me smile and it cheered me up. Little random things i don't expect, like these, tend to cheer me up and put a smile on my face. I don't know why.

Ahh, the happiness is slipping away again. Sigh sigh.

Wisdom from Bruce Lee

“You might as well be dead. Seriously, if you always put limits on what you can do, physically or anything else, it’ll spread over into the rest of your life. It’ll spread into your work, into your morality, into your entire being. There are no limits. There are plateaus, but you must not stay there, you must go beyond them. If it kills you, it kills you. A man must constantly exceed his level.”

I'm gunna print this^ and stick it on my wall.

Paper thin.

Lol i'm a douche. I hate how i eff up alot. Sigh sigh. Swearing so much now. I use to never swear. I was one of those kids that went ":O UMMAA!!!!". And now it's like fuck this, fuck that, fuck you, fuck me. Fuck everywhere. Up there. Down there. Left. Right. Ball sack vagina. I'm not okay :).

Sorry to everyone who witnessed the worst of me last night. I'm honestly sorry. It was difficult to stop because that's how long i've been holding it in. I did try to stop. I promise i tried. But i couldn't help it. I swear i will make it up to all of you <3.

Rose still rants.

Mkay. I see how it is. What made me text you? Really? Muther fcking really? Mkay then. Want it to be like this then fine. It'll be like this. You expect me to text you again? Well well, lower your expectations son. You will receive nothing from me. You know how stubborn i can get, prepare for the worst then. I lasted 3-4 days before, i can last a whole lot longer.

And dont you blame this on me. Dont you dare blame this on me. What, it's my fault things are shitty?? Is it really?? I dont understand what i did then. I tried to make things go back to how they were before but you're acting like a dick wad. If you want to continue this shit time we're having at the moment then muther fcking fine. I can do that.

Game rules:
- stop acting like an asshole
- send an apology
- don't take a week to talk/text

Failure to follow game rules result into Game Over. Consisting of Pissed Off Rose, Stubborn As Fuck Rose, and perhaps Ex Rose.

Let the game begin.